Things you would never know without movies
February 3, 2000 | Humor
- During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
- All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.
- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of the year.
- All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
- All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
- It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
- The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A bad German accent will do.
- The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
- Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
- It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.
- Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
- When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
- All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
